A few years ago I ready Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. Now there is a study guide that goes along with the book that I want to do. In the intro of the study guide Leslie states what a someone seeing when they look at a woman would is living a set-apart life.

“They see radiance, mystique, and selflessness. They see a passion for Jesus Christ that far outweighs any other pursuit or desire. They see “the few” in this generation who have chosen to follow a completely different path than the rest of the culture. They see lilies among the horns.”

I love the way this type of woman sounds like and it is my prayer that this is the type of person that I can become.

So my friend Danielle and I have registered for several long bike rides and been wanting to do a century ride for over a year. Well there is one within driving distance the same weekend that we were planning on doing a half marathon. Well we finally decided that we would do the century bike ride because we can always run 13 miles on our own but probably would not just bike 100 miles by ourselves. We have also decided to do a half ironman in March and I have a marathon in December and January that I am training for. Well in addition to the training required for these events, I work full time and I am taking 2 classes for my PhD. So my schedule is kinda booked. I travel a lot and always seem to be on the go. My friends tell me that they are already tried just hearing half of what I got going on for the week. The thing is, I do not view it that way. My lifestyle seems normal to me but I constantly find myself struggling with the fact that I have so much going on. But today I am wondering do I get frustrated with myself for committing to these actives because I really should be focusing on other things like school, my relationship with God or am I letting the opinions of other people influence what I think I should be doing. The fact is that I have always had a busy schedule and have successfully earned my BS and ME in civil engineering and I am getting all my assignments done currently. If this is the case, then why I am always telling myself that I shouldn’t do things that I truly enjoy and bring joy to my life if in reality I am handling everything just fine?

In my daily devotional reading for today Joyce Meyer discusses how you may feel timid and shy but you can walk boldly through life. This is something that I have really struggled with throughout my life. I am almost always shy round people that I do not know and when in a situation that I do not feel comfortable in I am timid and I present myself this way. For a while I really struggled with the fact that I was this way. I would tell myself that I need to be different. Then one day I started to really think about it. If this is me by nature then I should not necessarily beat myself up for it, I need to embrace who I am. I do think that I am called to be more outgoing than I am and I believe most of my reason for being is shy is fear. I am trying to get over my fear by putting myself outside of my comfort zone and trying slowly to get over the fear in a positive way without beating myself up. We do not have to remain the same, we are able to change but we need to look for positive healthily ways instead of having negative thoughts and getting mad at ourselves for the way that we are.